A Dinktastic Conundrum
by Jabronymous
Summary: It's an average day like any other. The sun's shining, the birds are singing... And Mr. Dink's hemorrhoids are acting up. It's up to Doug to help out Dink, and retrieve the groceries from his van. It's an enticing tale of darkness, horror, and inklings of... Romance. Will Douglas be able to survive the lethal twists, and turns of this grim tale? Or will he succumb to the Dinkage.


Mr. Dink: "Hey Douglas, could you help me get the groceries out the back of my van?"

Doug: "Sure Mr. Dink"

Mr. Dink: "I've already " strained my body plenty today, and I'm afraid that with my hemorrhoids acting up, it'll be a bit of a chore"

Doug: "Alright Mr. Dink, d-do you you want me to do anything else for you?"

Mr. Dink: "Oh, could you fetch my pipe wrench for me? It's... a bit further back in the van. Yeah, climb in just a little bit more"

Doug: "H-hey, I think I think I got it!"

"Don't worry if it feels... a little rubbery. You just sit " tight" Doug, and I'll grab some more "tools" for my project. "Close van doors with Douglas still inside"

Doug: "Ummm, Mr. Dink? It's really dark in here"

Mr. Dink: " Whirrs up what could be a power drill, or buzz saw"

Doug: "Wow, that's REALLY loud"

Mr. Dink: "Stops abruptly, WHAT WAS THAT DOUGLAS?"

Doug: N-nothing Mr. Dink"

Doug's perspective: "You faintly hear Dink walk around to the side of the van, and what sounds like a valve being turned. You start to feel light headed, and notice a quite "Hissing" sound coming from the van's air vents"

Doug: "W-What's that sound?"

Doug's perspective: "You lose consciousness, but not before catching a glimpse of the van doors sliding open. Within that split second, you could swear that you'd seen Dink holding packs of " Long, funny looking balloons"

Doug's Mind: "F-Funny Balloons?"

Doug's perspective: "You wake up in your bedroom, feeling... exhausted. You don't remember going to bed, and what's more is the fact you're asleep in your underwear. Strange, You never never sleep in your tightly whiteys. You realize that the nightlight the nightlight in your bedroom is missing. It's nearly pitch black, but you manage to fumble your way to the bedroom door. A quick inspection of the hallway reveals that all the lights in your home are off, and further investigation yields a startling fact. Your parents aren't home. That's odd, they shouldn't be out at this hour. You creep down the steps, careful not to make any noise, when you are suddenly stuck by a foul odor, and the faint sound of television static. You deduce that they're coming from the basement, and eventually work up the nerve to check it out."

Doug: "I-Is anyone there?"

Doug's perspective: "By this point your heart is pounding out of your chest. You fear the worst, before finally opening the basement door. Once the door opens about half way, the repulsive odor that you had noticed before had actually become quite pleasant. Cautiously opening up the door the rest of the way, you find yourself presented with a darkened room. You walk in, and tip toe a good five feet into the room, when all of the sudden, BAM the door behind you slams shut, and the lights overhead flicker to life. You then hear a familiar voice yell, SURPRISE! And upon opening your eyes, you're quickly submitted to a sensory overload. To your dismay, you find the room to be filled with brightly colored neon animal balloons, and confetti.

Doug: "B-Balloons, the animal kind?"

Doug's perspective: "You see Mr. Dink standing hand in hand with none other than... your parents. You finally pieced things together, and once you you get your wits about you, you notice that Dink has dawned clown attire, and is currently in the process of grilling hotdogs on his expensive new electric grill. You see your parents standing next to an unfamiliar television set with a smile on there faces. But before you get a chance to speak, you're cut off by your parents with a loud "HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOUG!"

Doug: "W-What?"

Doug's parents: "We and Mr. Dink thought it would be neat to throw you a surprise birthday party/Grill out"

Mr. Dink: "Sorry to startle you you sport, I suspected that you might not be particularly fond of clowns, but your parents insisted I dress up anyways. Still, it's certainly nice to get a chance to utilize my skills back from my days at the Clown College. Oh, and look at this! We got you your very own television set! It's a little old, and I had to fix the stand's leg with my power tools, but hey! It still works like a charm! Oh, the hotdogs are ready, isn't this great!"

Doug's parents: "Ummm, Mr. Dink? I think Douglas may still be a little confused about he woke up back here"

Mr. Dink: "Oh, right, well while you were in the van I went to air up a few balloons with my helium tank. I wanted to be silent so you wouldn't hear me filling one up. but as it turns out, the Helium Nozel was caught in the van door. it seems that you had inhaled some of it and passed out, sorry... Oh, and I accidentally bumped into your nightlight when I was bring you back to your room and broke it. well, in any case... Happy Birthday Douglas!"

Fin...

Credits: This story was written as a shitty role play on the official Games Repainted Discord Server, by me, Jabronymous, and the user Mr. Flan

Side Note: Doug is afraid of clowns, and balloon animals in this story

Other Trash: I don't have an explanation for why he was half naked, I kind of started writing this as a rape scene thing...


End file.
